McIllece Aloha Adventures: LOST

Okay, I finished making dinner, but then needed to study for my final which I took today and now have a few minutes to get to the good part. Hmmm... where was I? Oh yes, we parked the car and piled into "E's" really cool car and drove very slowly and quietly down the dirt road. As we drove along we could see big production lights ahead and it started to feel more "real" with each moment. "E" rolled down his window a few times chatting with his fellow employees and subordinates about this and that and fulfilling some of his responsibilities. We drove passed all the trailers, the sushi guy (hired by "Josh" as "E" calls Sawyer), and a myriad of other trucks and carts and generators. We kept driving until it was dark again and drove for several hundred more yards before he turned off the dirt road and turned off the car. So, we know we're near the set, but we're still in the middle of nowhere in the dark with a strange guy, albeit cool guy with the potential to make our wildest Sawyer dreams come true, but still... we're a bit trepidacious (well at least I was). He pulls out one flashlight and starts walking on this path ahead of the car. We carefully follow along trying to place our steps in the dark while not losing sight of E and his one flashlight. We emerge from the path onto the beach - gorgeous, by the way, the waves all light up by the production lights off in the distance... and the stars... ah, the beautiful stars, more than I've seen in a really, really long time. Sigh... it was a spectacular night. Oh, sorry... back to the beach. We head North a bit along the beach towards the lights and E tells us to hang back while he scopes out the set area. We wait probably 5 minutes or so when I look around and see a really big Hawaiian guy come out of the brush headed straight for us. A bit unnerving, but we don't start running or screaming or anything like that. He had on night-vision goggles, removed them as he approached us and asked what we were doing there, saying we could all get in a lot of trouble. We told him we were with E who was just up the beach a bit. He must not have heard us completely because he put his goggles back on, scanned the beach ahead and said "who is dat guy up der?" "Is he wichu?" "Yes," we replied, "that's 'E' and we're with him". This time he heard us. "That's 'E'?" (DUH! That's what we said! - grin) He made a visual confirmation and then walked back into the 'jungle'. When E came back he had two headphone sets, what he called 'director's sets' because you could here everything the directors were saying as well as the actors. (COOL!) He put one on and gave the other to Stalker. We followed him a bit further up the beach and then he and Stalker continued right up onto the edge of the set. The rest of us were close enough that we could hear them saying "ROLL FILM" and "ACTION". At this point it started to hit me that E really was legit and we really might get to see Sawyer. I think I might have said "OH MY GOSH!", "HOLY FREAKIN' COW!", "UNBELIEVABLE!" or any/all combinations of those words upwards of 100 times or more. After about 15 minutes or so (felt like much longer), Cheri came back with a HUGE smile on her face and handed off the headset to Laura, reporting that she actually saw Sawyer and Kate and heard them saying their lines. "Unbelievable!" E handed off his headset to me and took Laura up to the set. Not a lot was going on in the headset when I got it... they must have been on a break, but as Laura and E got up there I could here E talking to the mic dude with very colorful language... he must have been a sailor at some point. Soon enough he came back and motioned for me to come up. I sat with Laura in a golf cart of sorts while we waited for things on set to get underway again. Tired of waiting, E went back and got Elisa and Cheri again. We all huddled just out of sight while they made the last preparations for another shoot. At last, they started again. Kate (wherever she was in her top secret location) and then... there he was... in all his splendedness... Sawyer! (all together now... collective dreamy sigh) He sauntered into position, and started his top secret dialog with Kate - which I'd wager big money that all 4 of us could still repeat word for word. I don't think I mentioned that we were only about 30 yards away from SAWYER!

Anyways... I'm not sure how long we stood there drooling... I mean watching them go over and over that scene. Some moments seemed an instant, others dragged on (where's Sawyer... why can't I hear him anymore?) Ok... I know Kate was there, but for some reason that didn't seem very important to me that night. So, when we finally left the set area, we walked back down the beach and tried to find E's car. It actually took longer than we expected and we ended up traipsing through some brush after we made a wrong turn. We all piled back into E's car extremely satisfied with ourselves and a most enjoyable, 'unbelievable' night, and expected E to take us back to our car so we could head home.

However...

E asked us if we'd like to see Locke's jungle... Uh... YES! It was awesome and creepy dark.

Then E asked us if we'd like to see Sun's garden (ya know... the one she planted while she was pregnant?)... Uh... YES! We literally drove right through it! Obviously it was all previously destroyed and/or overgrown.

So then we start heading back to ground zero with all the trailers, and we can still hear them trying to finish the scene. As we get closer, we can hear the director (or some other authority figure) asking "what is that noise?" E realizes that they can hear the car engine through their powerful mics so E shuts off the engine and we sit quietly whispering in the dark until they finish. By this point we are beyond giddy with our evening of good fortune and E drives us up to the chaos of clean up where he needs to actually do his job and give instruction to his minions. We're sitting obediently and quietly in the car when E opens the door and says "Get your cameras ready and be ready to move quickly." OH! MY! FREAKIN' GOSH! We're gonna see JOSH! A minute later E opens the door and says "He's really tired, but said he'd take one picture with all 4 of you." (OK! DUH!) We get out of the car, and there leaning against a pickup right next to us is SAWYER, smoking a cigarette and looking exhausted, with that grumpy "what did you just say" look he does so well on the show. He sees us and puts on a fantastic smoldering smile, tosses his cigarette down and shakes our hands. We pose for our photo, say our thanks and make small banter as we leave when he realized that, just like his wife, one of us had stomped out his cigarette during the photo op. We hop back in the car and FREAK OUT! Within minutes HE has left and we are still sitting in shock, waiting for E to take us back to our car.

When E does show up he asks us if we'd like to GO INSIDE Sawyer's trailer.... Uh.... YES! We take pictures outside the trailer, inside the trailer, with his name outside the trailer, check out his bathroom where he showers, sit on the same couch he sits on, look in the same mirror he checks his beautiful smile in... breathe the same air he breathes... sigh...

After exiting the trailer, we pile back into the car. We start to fawn over E and thank him profusely for all the trouble he has gone to with absolutely no expectations from us. He says slyly, "you're finished? I thought you might want to see the beach camp"... Uh... YES! So he drives us to the other side of the property and it's like we were really there. It was the second beach camp, after they went inland to the caves and then came back. The shacks are all still there - with airplane parts, luggage, bamboo, etc. We snapped a zillion pictures in the dark hoping that some of them would turn out. Then back to the car.

Next we stop at the graveyard and Ecko's church... SERIOUSLY! It's all still there. Then back to the car. He still doesn't take us to the car, but back to ground zero where he proceeds to give more instructions to his crew. Then turns to us and asks: "Would you like to go on the set where they just filmed?"... Uh... YES! This time we climb into a golf cart of sorts and he drives us around the woods which are now dark because the production lights are off and already dismantled. We find THE SPOT and proceed to do our version of the scene we just watched. UNBELIEVABLE!

So finally, our tour is complete. We are utterly and completely dumbfounded by our evening of amazement. E gives us all big hugs and asks us if we'd like to go to stop by the shoot tomorrow downtown.... sigh...